Contemplating Life in France

Last five nights to go. We are on the train on our way to the last destination before heading home. It has been a very quick five weeks! First two we were in Finland and I was still working. Note to self, you do not want to be working while everyone else is already on their holliers! For the second part of our five week escape we flew to Nice and spent three weeks travelling in Cote d’azur.

French countryside somewhere between Saint-Raphaël and Toulon.

After a tough couple of months, both in work and personal life, I was in dire need of the time off. To completely switch off and only worry about whether to have a croissant or pan au chocolat for breakfast, which beach to go to, or what to have for dinner. And as you would expect, when you take the time off and step back, even if it’s for a shorter while, you can see more clearly. You are able to put things into perspective and maybe even come up with some plans.

I’m a firm believer in doing things your way, to live your life in a way that makes you and your family happy and fulfilled. If something is making your life miserable, then you need to take steps to change things. It is all relative of course and life isn’t all flowers and sunshine all the time, but change the things you can, the way you can. Can things be done differently, is it something you have to do or if it’s not making you happy, can you drop it? And if not, is there something else you could be doing that would make you feel excited?

That’s a lot of thought for a holiday, but what better time to do it, right?! When you go through the day to day, you only concentrate on “what’s next”. It’s hard to take a step back and think about life and what you want from it. What’s important, what’s not? What’s necessary and what is not?

Rainy Helsinki after Sunny Dublin

That was a long evening of travelling. All the transfers to and from the airport, waiting around for the flight – it’s almost like a full working day! We’re finally here, having left the sunny and warm Dublin behind we woke up to rainy Helsinki. I’m told this is supposed to be temporary and the headlines in the Finnish evening tabloids were shouting for “KUUMA HEINÄKUU” (hot July) so I’m hoping that for once they have it right.

Rainy but green!

I’ve been known to be grumpy if the weather is not right for the holidays. And I don’t only mean that it needs to be sunny, it needs to be warm too. There were a couple of days of disappointment over the previous years’ holidays when it wasn’t quite as warm as I wanted it to be… Even in Portugal! I think it’s because we don’t really get the sunny, hot summers in Ireland so when I’m on holidays, I don’t want to be restricted by the weather. Last year, when the temperatures weren’t quite at the required levels the first few days of the holidays, I was already on Google checking where we will go this year to make sure that doesn’t happen again. I know, it’s a bit sad right. It was sunny and the weather was definitely way better than it was back home. And I was on holidays, rain or shine! But what can you do, I run on solar power and I feel the need for at least a few weeks a year when I can just stroll to the beach and not feel cold coming out of the water. Sit at the playground, watching the kids play and the wind doesn’t make me shiver but rather is a welcomed breeze of milder, fresh air.

This year is different though. I won’t mind if Helsinki is a bit rainy. I am going to embrace the weather – well at least today when it’s still all new and we’re only here a day – but that’s only because I will have my guaranteed sunshine and heat in the south of France later this month. This year, Helsinki is all about spending time with my family and friends and not worrying about the weather! Now, the hubby might have a differing view as he gets to spend the days with the Little Messers while I’m working 🙂 I’m sure he wouldn’t mind a bit of heat and sunshine so he could bring the kids to the outdoor swimming pool!

Why So Tired, My Friend?

I have been soooo tired lately. Like properly wrecked. The kind of tired when the thoughts of having to walk back upstairs, because you forgot your phone on the bedside table, will make you want to cry. Or when you pull into the driveway and you can’t remember the drive home from the shops… I’m not entirely sure what has me so exhausted. I mean, it’s finally summer and the weather has been gorgeous for weeks now. That usually has me out jumping around, full of energy. I run on solar power, but there’s something in the air this year and it has me on my knees.

A proper summer’s evening

At first I thought it’s literally what’s in the air, the increased levels of pollen. The hay fever is really at me this year, eyes the size of a golf ball and the rest. It’s not a pretty sight I can tell you! But then I think back and I realise I’ve been tired a long time now. Not the usual tiredness that will pass, but the kind that doesn’t seem to lift no matter what you do. I usually get energy from exercising, but the last couple of months of my classes were a struggle to get through. I was trying all sorts of tricks, changing up the workouts, music… And you know the way you feel better after a workout? Not this time. I think I’m just more tired after a session! Ready for bed tired.

So you start looking at where the problem might be.
Am I sleeping properly? If there’s one thing I’m good at, that’s sleeping.. I get the odd night when I can’t seem to fall asleep or I wake up a lot, tossing and turning, but nothing out of the ordinary. Especially for someone with a couple of kids. Maybe the sleep is restless and I don’t realise it? I don’t know.
Am I eating properly? Well now.. That’s a more interesting one. Generally, the day to day food is nutritious and balanced, but I love a sneaky ice-cream, or the kids’ leftover jellies, or a bar of chocolate… with some wine.
Then there’s the other stuff that’s called life. What do you do when you have absolutely zero motivation to do anything? Kids activities are a struggle. Hanging out the washing is a struggle. Going to work is a struggle. You start thinking maybe it’s time for a change. Maybe you need to do something different. Or maybe you should look deeper into yourself and figure out what’s going on…

On the other hand, you could just decide to start writing your blog again. With new ideas and great deal of enthusiasm (kind of). Baby steps. You have to start somewhere!

Let’s Get Naked More Often!

I came across an Irish Times article on my Facebook feed about this lady who went topless at a festival in Ireland and was thrown out by the Gardaí. Some people protested. Some women were arrested for taking off their tops and some of the topless men were asking why the Gardaí didn’t arrest them for being topless. We seem to have a problem with women showing their breasts in public, while at the same time men can bounce around half-naked as they please. I ended up reading the comments on Facebook and as someone who grew up in a culture where seeing people naked is considered normal, I found the comments interesting. To give you a bit of background for where I come from, let me tell you a story.

On the beach, wearing a bikini – how much is there left for imagination anyway?

Back in the day when I was in my late teens/early twenties, at least once every summer we would gather a group of friends together and go to someone’s summer house for a couple of days. There we would, as most youngsters do, have a barbeque and drink some wine/beer/cider. At some point, we would also heat up the sauna and once it was hot enough everyone would get naked and go to the sauna together. Men and female, stark naked as nature made us. There was no gawking, groping or giggling. We would sit there, talk rubbish, get washed and go back to the cottage to drink and chat some more. Now, this was a good 10 to 15 years ago so who knows what the youngsters in Finland do these days, but this was normal to us back in the day. It wasn’t something strange or extreme you’d be talking about later. If you walk into a public sauna in Finland completely naked, no one bats an eyelid. Go there with your swimming togs on and you will certainly raise a few eyebrows. My experience in the Irish changing rooms is quite the opposite. I see women trying to get changed under a towel, trying to hide every single body part while getting their clothes on. In a women only changing room. While I do understand that some people might be conscious of their bodies, I do wonder where it all comes from. What if we were more used to seeing normal human bodies with all their imperfections (rather than the photoshopped bodies media throw at us all the time), maybe we wouldn’t feel so strange about getting undressed (or dressed in this case) in front of strangers.

So, back to the article in the Irish Times and the comments I read this morning. Some people argued that they wouldn’t like to see boobs flopping around in the shops or restaurants. I don’t think anyone is intending to go topless everywhere and all the time. But if men are allowed to sit half-naked in a public park, why are women not? Giving women the same right to go topless in these situations doesn’t mean all the women would be doing it all the time and everywhere. Just like all the men aren’t topless all the time and everywhere either. And when did we become so sensitive that everything we don’t like to see should be banned? If you don’t like what you see, look elsewhere. Some people can’t bear to see pregnant ladies perhaps due to their own difficulties in conceiving, but surely we shouldn’t be asking for pregnant ladies to stay indoors so someone else doesn’t get upset? What is it about female breasts anyway that makes us so uncomfortable? Why do you feel embarrassed if Mary next door is sitting topless in her front garden? Or if someone is breastfeeding next to you in a coffee shop?

Many people also argued that the female breasts are sexual and exclusive to women (eh, men have boobs too?!). If we’re talking about biology, as nature intended, the function of the female breasts is to feed babies. But yes, they do also play a part in attracting another person in a sexual manner. Whether that is because of the sexualisation of the female breasts in our culture over the years, as some commenters claimed, or if it’s also what nature intended to ensure we’re attracted to each other, is a different conversation. People are different and have different preferences. Some like blond, some like red. Some like hairy male chests and some like blue eyes. Even if I find the deep, bright blue eyes extremely sexy, it doesn’t mean I get out-of-control horny every time I see a pair. It’s about the context too. People should be able to put boobs into context. A man (or a woman) seeing a pair of bare breasts in a park is hardly going to get so aroused by it that they can’t control themselves, as one commenter implied. If they did, the issue is most certainly somewhere else than the bare breasts! It’s a completely different context seeing a girl sitting topless in a park chatting to her friends than seeing that same girl, topless in her bed giving you the suggestive eyes. Surely we as adults should be able to make the separation?

And with all that said, some people seem to miss the point that at the end of the day it’s not really about being able to show your breasts. It’s about the fact that these kinds of  rules over how, why, and when they should be covered only feed the culture of victim blaming when it comes to sexual crimes. It’s about the fact that we still have different rules for men and women. How do you explain your daughter why she can’t wear only shorts like her brother? All these seemingly small things feed into the bigger picture: gender equality.

 

July Socialites!

I can’t believe it’s the end of July already! We had quite the month with something happening every single weekend. It all started with a half marathon in Clontarf on the 4th of July… Note to self: train before you attempt another one!!